Place your bets please

LADIEEEEEEEES AND GENTLEMEN! This is our first edition of FleetWatch for 2007 and I welcome you to the 2007 South African ‘Rainbow Nation’ Derby – a race being watched by some 43-million people in South Africa as well as countless millions across the globe. Coming into the starting gates are some of the hottest contenders ever seen in a race such as this with many having already stamped indelible impressions on the minds of all through their glittering performances. Top favourite for this 11 month race to the December finishing post is ‘Crime’, a highly energetic beast which long ago threw its jockey from the saddle. With no-one holding the reins, ‘Crime’ has galloped relentlessly forward on a totally free rein grabbing the headlines on a daily basis with its daring feats. Seasoned race commentators have pointed to a jockey by the name of Mbeki as the only one with the ability to tame this brute and have urged him to get into the saddle so as to grab the reins of control. However, Mbeki has declined the offer choosing instead to ride a foreign contender by the name of ‘Congo’ which he regularly rides outside of the country. While a survey has shown that 98% of regular race go’ers feel that ‘Crime’ is out of control, Mbeki talks of this being a perception rather than a reality. At a recent jockey’s meeting held in Cape Town, he did, however, admit that the horse is running a little rampant and promised to throw in another 160 000 or so stable hands to manage it. He did not, however, say he would get seated firmly in the saddle to ride it. So ‘Crime’ enters the starting gates without a jockey as the firm favourite. 

Another top contender which is sure to grab the headlines in this race is a horse called ‘Road Carnage’. Known to be wild and reckless, it has a record of veering off the track into the emergency lane so as to race past its competitors with enthusiastic bursts of speed. By doing so it has, unfortunately, knocked down and killed thousands of spectators and is a real danger not only to the legitimate contenders but also to all spectators. It is not a well trained beast and seldom visits the vet for a health check. And because the farrier hardly gets a look in, it runs most of its races without shoes making it as dangerous on the track as it is off the track. This contender is a much sought after ride by the country’s top untrained jockeys who know that while it does have a sort of full-time jockey by the name of ‘Arrive Alive’, this jockey only arrives at peak-traffic races normally held over Christmas and Easter. Seasoned race commentators have pointed to a jockey by the name of Radebe as the one to ride ‘Road Carnage’ on a permanent basis at every race but we have yet to see him mount the beast, grab the reins firmly and control it. It is well known that he’d rather change the horse for a healthier one but while the search is on for a new ride, ‘Road Carnage’ is still out there running rampant with no full-time jockey at the reins. So watch out for ‘Road Carnage’ as it gallops on the track, off the track, in the car park and everywhere else towards the finishing post. News from the stable is that its foal ‘Unroadworthy’ born some years ago, is now out of training and is doing well in its races. 

Champing at the bit to get into the starting gate is a wellknown contender called ‘Corruption’. For many years, ‘Corruption’ was kept out of sight from the public as it was put through intense training with countless jockeys from all areas in attendance. Of late, however, ‘Corruption’ has galloped out of its hidden training base and grabbed the headlines with some magnificent performances. What’s even more exciting is that seasoned race commentators are predicting that this star has still not reached its full potential and that we can expect to see some really sterling performances from ‘Corruption’ in the future. One thing for sure is that ‘Corruption’ is sure to go down in the country’s race history books as having attracted the most number of jockeys ever to apply for a ride on a single horse. It will also go down as having impacted as one of the greatest catalysts for career changes with countless numbers of government administrators, public servants, traffic officers, SAPS personnel and the like all donning jockey jackets in an attempt to get in on the ride. The irony is that as ‘Corruption’ heads for the starting gates, it does so without anyone at the reins. This is due to the simple fact that a riot has broken out among hundreds of potential jockeys all clamouring to get into the saddle for easy pickings. Word has also reached the commentary box that some of the jockeys in the rioting crowd who have already ridden this horse are out of the running as they have been carried off to the First Aid tent for Scorpion bite treatment. 

Then there’s ‘Overloading’ from the Truckers Stable, a horse that previously charged ahead of the pack to dominate this race by using its sheer brute force and propensity for breaking the rules. Unpopular among the legal contenders, the owners of ‘Overloading’ fitted oversized shoes in order to give the horse an advantage over its competitors. Little thought was given to the damage caused to the track. Although allowed to run free for many years – earning its owners many millions of ill-gotten Rands - race officials began clamping down on its transgressions by implemented a few race banning orders. With this track record, ‘Overloading’ is not expected to perform too well in this race as the beast is now old and tired – and is not at all popular among race officials nor the public. 

Also in the race but sure to be overshadowed by the more powerful beasts above are contenders like ‘Environmental Responsibility’, a fine animal with honourable and noble intentions but not expected to attract much attention. ‘Moral Rejuvenation’ is also making its way to the starting blocks but the betting odds are not good at the bookie’s desks. ‘Economic Stability’ and its sister ‘Foreign Investment’ are both in the race again this year but seasoned commentators are predicting that ‘Crime’ and ‘Corruption’ could well out-run both these fine animals and impact on their potential for winning. A new contender entering for the first time this year is ‘Chinese Trucks’. Not much is known about this horse except that it comes from a huge and wealthy overseas stable which we know is extremely keen on making its presence felt on foreign race tracks. A horse which is almost sure to continue its fine form of the past two years is ‘Truck Sales’ running alongside another favourite, ‘Road Freight Growth’. Of interest is that ‘Uncle Bob’, the haggard horse from up north, arrived as a late entry due to the horse-carrier running out of diesel one kilometre short of the Beit Bridge border post. As it turned out, he was disqualified after his owner failed to pay the entry fee of Zim$600-million – about R250. But wait! They’re in the starting blocks. Aaaaand - The Race is on! Can you predict the winner? 

Patrick O'Leary
Managing Editor